Doreen's World

What is Chakra Sky Jewelry?

Originally published at catloverdoreen.net.

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream:

"Oh my God! They've found me!"
and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

11. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."

16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"

18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.



26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grinds some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!"

Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing,grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.

43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.

45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chain saw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".

50. Two words: Tesla Coil.

link

Originally published at Funville.

• You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead


• You can live without sex, but not without your glasses


• Your back goes out more than you do.


• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.


• You buy a compass for the dash of your car.


• You are proud of your lawn mower.


• Your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws


• Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.


• You sing along with the elevator music.


• You would rather go to work than stay home sick


• You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.


• You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.


• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.


• Neighbors borrow your tools.


• People call at 9pm and ask, "Did I wake you?".


• You answer a question with, "because I said so!".


• You send money to PBS.


• The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.


• You take a metal detector to the beach.


• You know what the word "equity" means.


• You can't remember that last time you laid on the floor to watch television.


• Your ears are hairier than your head.


• You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.


• You get into a heated argument about pension plans.


• You got the cable for the weather channel.


• You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

link

Originally published at Funville.

Itty Bitty is the tabby one and Princess Puma is the black one. they are our inside girls and love to steal my armchair!

Originally published at Depressed Mama.

Whenever you are next bored, or feel like being annoying, here are some cool things to do.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Insist that your email address begins with 'xena-warrior-princess' or 'elvis-the-king'.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".

Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy."

dont use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle at work. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

When the money comes out of the cash machine, scream "I Won! I Won! Third time this week!"

When leaving the zoo, run towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Pay off your MasterCard with your Visa.



Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.

When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.

Send yourself a CandyGram.

Have a tea party with your pets.

Make a list of things to do that you have already done.

Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to school as if nothing was wrong.

Write checks with Roman numerals.

Write "Out to lunch" on your forehead.

Leaf through a National Geographic and draw clothes on everybody.

Drive to the store in reverse.

Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.

Read the dictionary backwards and look for hidden messages.

Bill your doctor for time spent in the waiting room.

Stare at people through the points of a fork and pretend they're in jail.

Make up a language and stop someone to ask for directions.

Write a short story using alphabet soup.

Talk to your fish.

Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias.

Start conversations with the words, "Did you ever wonder why..."

Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

Buy a complete set of Transformers. Play with them loudly. If people comment, tell them with a straight face, "There's more to them than meets the eye."

Read this.

link

Originally published at Funville.

she had a great time at camp and is in bed asleep - no school for her today as she is too tired and was carsick. glad she had fun though and she wants to go again which is good!

will have to ring up the doctor tommorow and try and get an earlier appointment as I'm still not sleeping properly of anything and my mood has been very low

Originally published at Depressed Mama.

Steffi entered a competition on Austar and won double passes to see John Edwards in November in Sydney!!!!! Whoo Hoo we're off to John Edwards!!!!! and meet and greet passes too!!!!!

Originally published at Depressed Mama.